Rain & No Productivity

     Hello boys and girls and everyone else. This has been some rainy weekend, huh? I personally love the rain. Not being out in the rain or anything like that, but sitting inside listening to the rain with a candle going, it's very somber and relaxing. The downside however is that it makes me feel extremely unproductive. I just want to sit around all day and essentially do nothing, just laze about and enjoy the experience of listening to the rain.

    This year I have decided to do things differently than I have in the past, I used to put academics above everything else, especially my mental and physical health. I have decided that from now on I'm just not gonna do that. I push myself so hard all the time that I don't really know when to stop until I'm completely burnt out, then I have to take a vacation to the grippy sock hotel. I am no longer going to try to be the best because I know I am not. I am not the smartest or the most hardworking or any of that, so why should I try to be? I know I'm not going to get a 4.0 gpa, so why would I work so hard knowing that I do not possess the skills to complete the task. I would always compare myself to other people, wondering why I was never smart enough, or why I never seemed to have the same energy as they did. I mean, I was just in one AP class, some kids took multiple on top of doing extra after-school activities. Then I realized something, I'm not those people. I am me, and me  has depression and a lot of other various issues, so me is not going to be as productive as the average person.

    Anyways, I spent my weekend enjoying myself, and usually I feel extremely guilty because how dare I use my free time to not complete the million assignments accumulated over the week, right? Well, I have officially decided that from this point on I'm not going to care as much anymore. One late assignment? No big deal. Forgot to turn something in? Oh well, life will still go on.

    I hope everyone will be able to enjoy the rain, the soft patter on the roof, the world drenched in darkness, other than when a crack of lightning strikes nearby. Ah, so soothing. Well, that's all I have for now, see everyone later :)


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